BOOBS by Lyall

December 9, 2008

The Worlds Greatest

Today is cheeky day, and I couldn’t be cheekier deciding, once and for all, who has the best boobs in the world. Now, my conclusion is already flawed because, being an honourable, PC gentleman, I can’t exactly go around photographing random girls and posting them on my blog. Or can I?

No I can’t. So I won’t. So with a bow of admiration, I will leave the debate of top everyday bosoms for another time. In my typically but forgivably male investigation today, I’m going do determine, finally, who in the world has the best ones. I’ll cover models, film stars, porn stars and general flaunters; and trust me I’ll be thorough. There’ll be no breast unturned?

The obvious bailout would be to indulge in a top-ten. Many magazines like Nuts and Zoo and their tremendous online ogling projects have done them. But that’s too obvious, and we aren’t obvious here at Wandersee. I will choose just a few, less than ten but more than one, and critically analyse why they are just so good. How do we know? What have they done to prove so? Why are they splendid? You can’t wait can you?

Of course initially, it’s all a matter of personal preference. Some guys (or girls) like huge melons, and some prefer little puppy noses. And then there’s the question of fake or real? There is just so much to think about!

The only judgement is that we’re going to have to have a fake boobs winner and a real boobs winner. It’s the only call to please everyone. Here we go…
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Everyone’s Favourite Girl-Next-Door

Kelly Brook

29 – Model/ Actress/ TV Presenter

(English Real Example)

She’s a national treasure. The long-time model has gone from strength to strength recently. After appearing nude and sexing in a movie last year she’s taken on acting on doing very well by the heart of the nation. Her boobs are the epitome of real pertness and any man that says they’re not for him is a liar.
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The Gifts That Keep On Giving

Gemma Atkinson

24- Actress/ Model

(English Fake Example)

Ex- Hollyoaks belter’s belters have grown and grown and whichever genius decided to implant behind her real breast tissue needs a medal or a badge or something. She’s now become a regular in all leading lad’s mags but we’re still on the edge of our seats as to when the nipples will appear. Her boobies are actually like footballs though; which we love.
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Eastern Goddess

Kyla Cole

30 – Model

(International Real Example)

The hairs stand on your neck when you catch Kyla’s icey blue eyes, and yes they’re real; the boobs and the eyes. Truly great in shape and size, this eastern European’s front is too exotic for our cold continent. But she’s from Slovakia, and become world renowned for her beauty even making cameo appearances in music videos for I forget which band. Her official website is also perhaps one of the best around with buckets of booby goodness.

Image Source: File

Beautiful In Every Single Way

Christina Aguilera

27 – Singer/ Songwriter

(International Fake Example)

We know these became fake sometime in the not so distant past. Some thought the wrong move, most of us lads thought a brilliant decision. Although she contradicted herself with her innocent, real-American image suddenly being tainted with plastic surgery, in the context of today’s blog she had to be mentioned and will love us for it.

Image Source: File


Man-Made Wonders


27 – Pornstar

An obscure pornstar that has crept into everyone’s hearts I’m sure. She was born in New York City but moved to sunny Puerto Rico at a young age. Early movie endeavours rendered her an ugly troll; if you bother delve that far back. But recently, she has blossomed and I’ve awarded her the prize of the best fakes around. You can see why. These have to be seen in all their glory however.

The Boobs: The gift of the hand of man could not be epitomised more by Carmen’s breasts. I don’t know whether I’m blinded by her blonde hair and pretty mush but they’re incredible. Perfectly rounded without a fault or scar, and guess what? They still bounce!
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Real Gems


24 – Model

England’s finest. Lucy Pinder has teased and tantalised the readers of Nuts and Zoo for years now wearing bikinis, covering her nipples and hiding behind Michelle Marsh. In a debatable stroke of genius, the girl from Winchester refused to nipplise until the right price, and the right time. When it came it was a day that will go down in history as that day; where were you when it happened? I know where I should have been and what bug form I should have been in, inside that room.
The Boobs: Well they’re massive to start with. Absolutely huge and the mind unravels as it tries to decipher how they are that pert and that shapely being that big. That’s perhaps why they dominate the minds of every man and most pages of magazines at the moment. Perfection.


10 Responses to “BOOBS by Lyall”

  1. jadelori Says:

    hmmm? think we should all try to link a little bit in our blogs maybe?

  2. Anika Says:

    Good point. But it’s quite hard when we just talk about what WE think a certain word means. I think the use of more visuals/multimedia would be good…maybe some quotes what other people say something means as well? Works good with home and dream.

    By the way, I haven’t been in last week as I was really ill, but Sophie was so nice to let me be part of the group. So, hi to everyone.

  3. anikagoldhahn Says:

    This is why women get complexes and put silicon in her breasts. Seriously, those breasts look all the same to me and they are all huge. As a feminist, I have to say: This post is not at all PC. Do you practice to write for a sexist men’s magazine? Please change your mind, as it would be a waste. I like your way of writing.

    • lyallthomas Says:

      Firstly, I have to argue that mens magazines aren’t sexist to women in general, in fact it’s debatable whether they’re sexist towards the women they feature. Think about the definition of the word sexist/ sexism. If anything these magazines worship women and the specific females they feature; they’re put on a pedestal. Fine, in your opinion it’s for the wrong reasons, but we are in the 21st Century and these women have moved along with it, and you’d be surprised how enlightened these models sound when they speak not just about their work. They WANT to do it. , and they don’t feel it’s derogatory so where is the sexism?
      Secondly, no of course the post isn’t PC, it was ironic. No I don’t wish to write for a mens magazine but any woman that thinks she will ever meet a straight man who isn’t obsessed with breasts in some way is living in a dream world. Get real.

  4. anikagoldhahn Says:

    I like the discussion here. Why does that never happen on my blog?

    I see where you are coming from. Surely, models don’t have a problem with showing off with her breasts, but I think “real” women are the ones who get offended by it. Those women in magazines aren’t real. They just care about the money, otherwise they wouldn’t get naked – or half naked in some cases. But I think the attitute of just cutting women down to breasts is highly sexist and that is what some men’s magazines are doing.

    In the beginning of your article you wrote that some men like big breasts, some like small ones. However, the pictures show only women with big breasts. So I guess you are one of the big breasts fan then. Where are the other ones than? I haven’t seen any pictures of women with small breasts without the intention to make fun out of it. What do you think how women feel who don’t have huge ones?

  5. jadelori Says:

    Kelly Brook!!

    and it’s fine if people can’t link…our blog is not about that exactly….

    but i think if we all write definitions of what these words literally mean to us it will be a bit same’ish.. need more plays and twists on words perhaps??

    and yes.. who is olly?? i think he must be one of our fellow authors boyfriend’s! maybe tori or sophie?

    it would be interesting to know!

    Also, to save this confusion in the future maybe we should include our names at the bottom of each blog?

  6. anikagoldhahn Says:

    I think we have two wandersees here. That might lead to some confusion, maybe also for Jim if he might want to mark us differently. The others are fine, as the author’s name is the real name of the author.

    I think the way everyone posted was pretty good so far. Doesn’t look the same to me. But maybe we should have a quick talk in the newsroom about this blog on Thursday.

  7. wandersee Says:

    I think the fantastic Keeley Hazell has been a massive oversight here! tori

  8. Lucy Pinder Says:

    Lucy Pinder definitly wins in my book. She is the best! Thanx. Hands down.

  9. Lucy Pinder Says:

    Sorry She is the best.

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